I have deep hurts and can't forgive, what can I do?
Forgiving can be sometimes distressful, and to others almost impossible. This is a must do in the Kingdom of God. However, as I said it can be difficult in many cases. The Holy Spirit is the only one to help you accomplish this feat. Zoom in for a minute; you came to Jesus for Him to forgive you of your sins, right? He did, and thereby your burden was lifted and continuously stays lifted if you stay in fellowship with the Lord and confess your sins as you go forward, you are forgiven. Now, on the flesh side of things, you have been hurt, by family members, father, mother, classmates, boy /girl friends, been taken advantage of, people have done catastrophic things to your loved ones or even you, you were knowledgeable about being an orphan, the list goes on and on, unfortunately.
The main person to forgive is yourself, this can become a stumbling block for many who just can't fathom that the Lord actually forgave them 100%. Knowing God's love and His unconditional grace and loving-kindness works, causes you to realize that yes, I am forgiven! When you know that His love is never ending over and over, this gives you the ability to operate in His love to others and you too can forgive those who hurt you, no matter the circumstance and the bottom line is that they in fact either need Jesus in their life or if they are a Christian, they need further instruction of how to forgive and operate in love themselves.
If you are new to be a Christian, this exercise is more difficult, a hint for you to do this, remember the Lord commands you to forgive, He knows your circumstance (believe me) and if you can't forgive but you can be obedient to His command you are getting there. To mean you followed Him, as to be obedient to forgive, and you forgave out of obedience and didn't feel it, right? Right, you did it with your head, in time the fellowship and walk with the Lord will gain you more compassion and that forgiveness will take an 18-inch drop downwards into your heart.
Another hint to doing this would be to "give them a gift they don't deserve, I.e. "Forgiveness" some conditions to keep in mind, that unforgiveness leads to sickness, bitterness, hard heart, guilt, depression and so forth. It is infinitely better to forgive, especially if you are forgiven you can forgive that person who came against you or loved ones, take off the burden that is on you, commit this to the Lord let Him handle it and let His peace be upon you. Following are scriptures to reference, but be sure to know that forgiveness is a major subject many books have been written, pray for the Lord to guide you in any of those selections.
See: Ephesians 4:32, Mark 11:25, 1 John 1:9, Matthew 6:15, Matthew 18:21-22, James 5:16, Luke 6:27, Colossians 3:13, Luke 6:37, Romans 3:23.